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May. 12th, 2011

some of 'em come in the form of co-dependents
'lotta times only end up bein' co-defendants
ten bucks say they tell for a lower sentence
and leave you up under the jail, beggin' for a penance
it don't make no sense, what happened to the loyalty?
honor amongst crooks, trust amongst royalty
I'd rather go out in a blaze, than give 'em the glory
how many of us have...a similar story?

the persistence of gravity

gravity as we observe it is the attraction between the earth's center of mass and the mass of a given object (such as an apple falling or what have you). but everything that has mass has it's own gravitational force. every proton, neutron, and electron which make up every atom of every molecule of every cell in your entire body exerts a minuscule gravitational pull, just as everything around it is pulling as well. doesn't this mean that, in at least some small way, we're all connected to each other and the world around us in a very non-metaphorical sense?

personally I'm inclined to believe that we're all connected quite a bit deeper than that, by forces other than gravity. I'm not speaking of religion, but I am talking about the soul, or the spirit, or the spark if you will. because we're all part energy. your brain would be just a lump of gray fat if it weren't for the electrical energy coursing through it, same thing goes for every other organ in your body. and since energy is never created or destroyed, only transformed, it begs a question: what happens at the moment of death? the matter that makes up our bodies decomposes back into the base material (even with embalming) but what happens to the energy? what does it decompose or change into?

go outside tonight and look at the moon. it's gravitational force is responsible for the ebb and flow of the earth's tides. a large mass floating hundreds of thousands of miles away from us has a direct observable effect upon every body of water on our planet. now consider this: your own body is something like 70-80% water. everything is connected, even if it doesn't appear so at first glance.
tomorrow morning my dad will be undergoing another surgical procedure
this time to remove blockage from his carotid (neck) arteries
it's natural to worry a little, but I'm much more calm this time around (and so is he).


349 electoral votes, 63,086,314 actual votes, and still counting...

now THAT'S a fucking mandate

and as an added bonus proposals 1 and 2 both passed

stem cell research, medical marijuana, and a black president

fuckin' sweet
In recognition of United Nations World Teachers Day, let us reflect on the subjects we hated most in school but must now grudgingly admit were useful. What subject will today’s students find most useful when they’re older?
no questions, hands down, most useful.

I fucking hated math as a kid and still do to this day, but I cannot deny the utter necessity of teaching it.
the whole world runs on numbers and mathematics...

and basic grammar runs a close second
read a few blogs at random and I think you'll agree


I finally got a new job
now instead of making donuts I will be making cupcakes at the cupcake station in Birmingham (near the palladium). Better pay and a shorter drive, plus I won't be working for a crazy Indian family, and maybe I won't have to worry about my damn paychecks bouncing due to sheer fucking stupidity.

anyways, "cupcake" is a fucking hilarious word...

a wave of relief

so my dad had his quadruple bypass operation on the morning of 8-8-08 and he pulled through just fine. he's in the hospital in dayton recuperating at an almost record speed and he may be released as early as tomorrow. they didn't deal with his heart valves this time around (they're only really worried about one of them anyways and it may be alright without an even more invasive surgery) they also found some swelling in the lymph nodes and did a biopsy just to be safe (results should be back in a week or so) but the important thing is that his heart muscles are already getting stronger, which is a very good sign. he's going to have to get his carotid arteries scraped out at some point but that's a much simpler procedure. so he's fine, he shaved a few years off of his life to be sure, but I get the feeling that he's gonna be around for quite awhile longer (as long as he starts going to the fucking doctor on a regular basis)

I think I shaved a few years off of my life from all the stress, and honestly the steady stream of odd coincidences and fortunate occurences is enough to make my brain fizzle just a little bit, but all things being equal the events of the last week unfolded in exactly the right way.

a change of plans

so my dad has elected to stay at the Dayton Heart and Vascular Hospital and have the bypass there early tomorrow morning instead of coming back to Detroit and having it in a few days at Beaumont. I'm almost kind of relieved because I have certain misgivings about Beaumont. It's a smaller hospital in Dayton and he feels a lot more comfortable there (which is a big deal because my Dad absolutley hates hospitals), also the doctor who has been treating him is obviously first rate. Not to mention the fact that it's his heart and therefore his decision ultimately.

I'm worried, obviously, but not too worried. I mean the man had a heart attack and just kept on working for another three years before it caught up to him so he's definently strong enough.
it's my birthday
and my dad is coming home today
and despite the events of the past few days I am determined to enjoy today
he wouldn't want us stopping every aspect of our lives just for him
in fact it would probably make him feel even worse

and anyways, we are going to have to do that to some extent while he's recovering from open heart surgery

so today I'm living it up
just got back from Dayton and the hospital where my dad was taken. he had his catheterization today and we found out definitively what is wrong with him. he has severe heart disease. six of the major arteries feeding his heart have severe blockage, the best of them is 70% blocked. in addition to this he has two leaky or bad valves which is what caused all of that fluid buildup pressing against his lungs. the muscles in his heart are very weakened and are pumping at less than half of normal strength. what the doctor also told us is that he did not have a heart attack on Sunday but he sees evidence that he had a minor one at some point in the past. the man is so stubborn and ornery that he had a heart attack and didn't even realize it. after some careful thinking he's pretty sure that it happened when he was moving out of his studio downtown around 3 years ago, what makes it even stranger is that his identical twin brother Tom died of a stroke at about the same time. but aside from the heart disease and some blood pressure issues he's in relatively good shape so they're releasing him tomorrow and them my mom and sister will bring him home so that he can have the bypass operation at Beaumont and recover from it at home with his family. things will never be the same again though, he'll be on meds for the rest of his life and for a few weeks after the surgery he'll be completely unable to take care of himself on even the most basic level. so tomorrow, my 23rd birthday, will be the last day that I can ever think of myself through the lens of youth.

all thing being equal though...
it could have been a whole hell of a lot worse
at least there's a treatment
and he's obviously a fighter

so I'm trying to be optimistic

for his sake as much as my own